Circumference
Cool round table! Who built it? Sir Cumference.
Show Up
Stop thinking you're going to be called up for war. Half of you don't even show up for work.
Well Behaved Pupils
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher? He couldn't control his pupils.
I Don't Recall
Gas Pump: Do you want a receipt? Me: No, I'd rather forget this whole experience...
Gotta Read Em'
Me clicking on "I have read terms and conditions".
The Best Relationships
Not all relationships will lead to marriage, some will help you discover new restaurants.
Windows Chat
Pre-internet chat room using an old version of windows...
Hey There
Teacher says pick a partner. Look at your friend like this.
Mouthing Off
While you were under, I decided to give you a teeth cleaning. Sorry, I should've told you. It's ok, you didn't hurt my fillings..
Dietary Grief
Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called a wedding cake.
Stabbing Pain
Friend: How did your first camping trip as a family go? Me: Wife stabs husband with squirrel.
Pursed Lips
Purses are just junk drawers with handles. Change my mind.
When, Where, What
Her: I bet he's thinking about other women. Him: If you replace the "W" with "T" in When, Where, and What, you get the answer for each question...
Always Listening
My favorite way to online shop is just to yell out what I'm looking for and wait for Facebook to post an ad for it.
Checkmate
Where can you buy cheap, chess pieces? At a pawn shop!
Curator
Most of this work or writing, punning, sarcasm, or dad jokes is not original content from me. I appreciate the finer art and curate or collect from various sources on the Internet. All original copyright notices are reflected in the images and the watermarks for the images. Feel free to follow me at the links listed below, or email me at Tom@ThatPunGuy.com.