Bed and Breakfast
Get Back Up
Me: It's not about how many times you fall, it's about how many times you get back up. Officer: Yeah, that's not how field sobriety test works.
Wordle Scorn
Me reviewing the inferior Wordle scores from my friends.
Nine
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81. He said no.
Laxative
Today I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it "Letter Rip."
The Bouquet Toss
At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.
Moon River
Blame Shifting
When my husband says "let me check with my wife," he's telling you all no, he's just putting the blame on me.
Catastrophe
The taxidermist mounted the wrong end of the lion that the big game Hunter had killed. It was a catasstrophy.
Hidden Talents
Me: I have many hidden talents. Someone: Like what? Me: I don't know. They are all hidden.
That's Amore
When the sword hits your knee, but no damage to thee, that's amore.
Marriage Meals
Wife: You pick dinner. Husband: Burger. Wife: no. Husband: tacos. Wife: No. Husband: Subs. Wife: no. Husband: Then what do you want? Wife: It's up to you. Welcome to marriage.
Tide Is Turning
Waiting for the next Wordle to come in with the tide.
Deep Thoughts
Do women ever sit back and think "my man sure does know a lot. Maybe I should just be quiet and listen to him."
Sarcastic Sprints
Me, if sarcasm was a sport.
Curator
Most of this work or writing, punning, sarcasm, or dad jokes is not original content from me. I appreciate the finer art and curate or collect from various sources on the Internet. All original copyright notices are reflected in the images and the watermarks for the images. Feel free to follow me at the links listed below, or email me at Tom@ThatPunGuy.com.