Feed Not Speed
When you're built for feed, not speed.
I Can't Hear You
Do men's ears actually work or are they just for show? Asking for a friend.
Get a Rapper
I said "Hire a wrapper."
Naughty Or Nice?
Dear Santa, I've been good all year. Most of the time. Once in awhile. Never mind, I'll buy my own stuff.
Here Kitty Kitty
It was at that point Santa realized he had less than 10 seconds to live.
A Large Fry
I went to McDonald's and ordered two large fries. They gave me around 80 little ones instead.
Banking on Kids
Number one I heard one of the children on this ship swallowed a bunch of coins. That's most unfortunate, Sir. What is the condition of the child now? Well, as I understand it, there's been no change yet.
Soul Searching
I finally found the capital of South Korea on Google Maps. It took a lot of Seoul searching.
Tater Tots
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow...
Art, Not Science
Sarcasm is an art. If it was a science, I'd have my PhD.
Fur Coat
I can't believe that in this day and age, people are still wearing fir.
Winging It?
My friend's just bought an old Boeing 747. He plans on turning it into a themed restaurant. I doubt it'll take off.
Silent Night
Don't be mad. I said I was sorry. I should have made reservations. Talk to me, Mary. Mary? Mary? I'm fine. How silent night began.
Overdrawn
Bank teller: your account is overdrawn. Me: Well, so are your eyebrows, but here we are.
Inflation
Me: I hope inflation doesn't get any higher. Inflation:
CURATOR
Most of this work or writing, punning, sarcasm, or dad jokes is not original content from me. I appreciate the finer art and curate or collect from various sources on the Internet. All original copyright notices are reflected in the images and the watermarks for the images. Feel free to follow me at the links listed below, or email me at Tom@ThatPunGuy.com.