Cool Cat
My goal is to be this calm when my life is falling apart.
Outside Costs
Sometimes you just gotta stay in the house. Outside cost like $300 a day.
Summer Shorts
Me, putting on my shorts for the first time this summer.
Single Serving
If a bag is not resealable, then it contains one serving. I don't make the rules.
County Prison
Reverse. First gear. Second gear. County. Prison.
Slide Me a Hamilton
Law professor: You're currently failing your ethics class. Me: *slides at $20 bill across the desk* How about now?
Letter Rip
Last weekend I had eczema, hemorrhoids, and diarrhea. Best Scrabble game ever.
Confetti Party
There should be confetti in tires, so when there is a blowout, it's still kind of an okay day.
Let Us Wordle
Just me and my professional Wordle team preparing for the incoming daily Wordle.
Coal Miner's Daughter
Minecraft proves that abolishing child labor was a mistake. The children yearn for the mines.
The Leaf Has Fallen
The hunter returns from a successful hunt with a fresh kill.
Quivering
Walking down the aisle at the grocery store and a guy screamed at me: "Didn't you see the arrows?" I ducked and said "I didn't even see the Indians."
They'll Burn Out
When you're in bed, ready to sleep and you remember you didn't turn off the kitchen lights.
Nothing
I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She replied, "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace." So, I bought her nothing.
Foxhound
Worst hunting dog ever.
Curator
Most of this work or writing, punning, sarcasm, or dad jokes is not original content from me. I appreciate the finer art and curate or collect from various sources on the Internet. All original copyright notices are reflected in the images and the watermarks for the images. Feel free to follow me at the links listed below, or email me at Tom@ThatPunGuy.com.