Carbon Footprint
Reduce your impact on the planet by replacing spaghetti carbanara with spaghetti ara. You're welcome.
Cheese
A photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him. To be fair, people being photographed did try to warn him.
Gravely Mad
Babe, you still mad?
I'm a Believer
My wife asked me to stop singing "I'm a Believer" by The Monkees because she found it annoying. At first, I thought she was kidding. But then I saw her face...
Lion Eyes
I thought by now you'd realize there ain't no way to hide your lion eyes.
Pumpernickel
If I had a nickel for every pun I've ever posted, I would have a pun per nickel.
Gas Under a Buck
I can't remember the last time I saw gas under a buck.
Mannequins Are People Too
Bumped into a mannequin and said, "sorry." And then said, "oh, I thought you were a person." Then I realized I was still talking to a mannequin. This. I'm this level of awkward.
Wanna Leg?
Would you like a leg, Lieutenant Dan?
Lava Good Woman
Women are like volcanoes. Both stay calm for extended periods of time before exploding and killing everything in their path. Then, they're calm again.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
The carnival ran out of gas for the rides' power generator. I guess it was Ferris fueler's Day off.
Science
Robber: Give me all your money. Otherwise, you are chemistry! Me: Don't you mean history? Robber: Don't change the subject!
The First Leon
Anyone know anyone called Leon that might want these? I ordered Noel but they sent me the wrong one.
Queen Bill Of Health
Elizabeth II went for her annual physical and got a Queen Bill of health.
On Mary Jane
I watched a documentary on marijuana last night. That's how I always watch them.
CURATOR
Most of this work or writing, punning, sarcasm, or dad jokes is not original content from me. I appreciate the finer art and curate or collect from various sources on the Internet. All original copyright notices are reflected in the images and the watermarks for the images. Feel free to follow me at the links listed below, or email me at Tom@ThatPunGuy.com.