Bacon
Bacon that cooks itself. The future is now.
Unbalanced
Working in a bank is a very ungrateful job. A lady asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over. They fired me.
Aretha Franklin
I made a wreath of old US $100 bills. I call it Aretha Franklins.
Named Food
Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.
Hug Left Curb
Hug left curb when leaving. I hate goodbyes.
Playing Guitar Badly
When I was young, I wanted to play the guitar really badly. After years of hard work, practice and determination, I can play the guitar really badly.
Speed Bumps Ahead
Oh OK, wait what? When children are present.
Love and Marriage
If you want to change the world, do it while you're single. Once you're married, you can't even change the TV channel.
Pencil Me In
My dad being a comedian when he meets my friends. This is Shakespeare's actually chewed pencil. It's so chewed I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Naturally
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
Corn Syrup Harvest
Next time you decide to criticize corn syrup, please take a moment and think about the farmers who worked tirelessly, tapping corn stalks and filling thousands, probably millions, of these tiny buckets.
Death By Boredom
My son interrupted my phone call to tell me that he was going to die of boredom. I informed him that was impossible since I'm still alive after listening to him talk about Minecraft for the last five years.
Mount Ever
Mount Everer. Mount Everest.
Crock Pot
I was going to cook alligator for dinner, but realized I only had a croc pot.
You Lift Me Up
If he only had something to lift him up a little higher.
CURATOR
Most of this work or writing, punning, sarcasm, or dad jokes is not original content from me. I appreciate the finer art and curate or collect from various sources on the Internet. All original copyright notices are reflected in the images and the watermarks for the images. Feel free to follow me at the links listed below, or email me at Tom@ThatPunGuy.com.