Tuna
What did the search party find on the planet below? The crew said they discovered a fish that is made up of only two sodium atoms. They named it 2 Na.
Loose Fitting Clothes
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I had any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up to begin with.
Mayo Wanna
MayoJuana
Locally Sourced Skeletons
Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween. It's terrible for the environment. Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly.
Fish and Chips
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Loaded with Calories
A second great reason to not eat uranium. How many calories in uranium? 20 billion calories.
Carrier Pigeon
Deletes social media accounts, sells everything, moves to the wilderness. Carrier pigeon arrives with message: "Hello, we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty."
Bad Steak
I told the waitress my steak was bad. She picked it up, slapped it, put it down and said: "if it gives you more trouble, let me know."
Hidden Messages
Always check the kids Halloween candy. We've been trying to reach you regarding your cars extended warranty.
Sound Pricing
Auto repair price list. Ping-Ping-Ping $35. Plunk-Ping-Plunk $50. Klunk-Ping-Klunk $125. Thud-Klunk-Thud $200. Clank-Thud-Klank $325.
Allure
When the wife wants to shop but you want to fish.
New Transmission
Him: You need a new transmission. Her: What's a transmission? Him: Haha, did I say one? I meant to say you need two new transmissions.
Shot and a Dribble
It is better to wake up and pee than to pee and wake up.
An Old Man
Three reasons not to fight an old man: 1) if you win, you beat up an old man. 2) if you lose, you got beat up by an old man. 3) more than likely an old man will shoot you.
Drinking Game
When your dad helps you dress up for Halloween.
CURATOR
Most of this work or writing, punning, sarcasm, or dad jokes is not original content from me. I appreciate the finer art and curate or collect from various sources on the Internet. All original copyright notices are reflected in the images and the watermarks for the images. Feel free to follow me at the links listed below, or email me at Tom@ThatPunGuy.com.